I wrote this in my blog on the 5th of January 2005..3 years ago..

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been thinking about something thats been bothering me greatly, sometimes when i'm trying to connect with people or just trying to make new frens, they don't look me in the eye and basically don't talk to me for more than 20 secs. if anybody has the answer to this great riddle, don't hesitate to ease my burden. the only answer i have is my height.. a curse i tell ya..
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when i wrote this three years ago this was how i really felt..and 3 years since then this is how i still feel...up until yesterday..

something happened which made me think about what i have been thinking my whole life..i always tot the reason people didn't want to talk to me much in real life was because of my height or my race or my appearance or something like that...

but after thinking about it for one sleepless night..i think i've come up with the answer to "this great riddle" of mine...i think the problem is not with everyone else but with me..i've come to realise that it is the combination of me expecting too much from people and me thinking too much all the time..

I've come to realise that no matter how hard i try or whatever i do..i can't expect people to treat me the way i imagine they would treat me in my head..i can't expect people to treat me the same way as i treat them..i can't expect people to be as close to me as how much i am close to them..

This problem is a curse alright..a curse that i have brought on myself..i apologise to everyone whom i have hurt because of my selfish thoughts. I'm sorry.